5-Hour Energy is crap

Now I’ve never tried 5-Hour Energy, I’m more of a Red Bull man. But I’m told by those who have that a more accurate description would be “2-hour energy and a 3-hour crash.” Which makes their ads even more offensive. We’ve all seen them, but have you ever read the fine print? Check out this gem.

*No crash means no sugar crash. 5-Hour Energy contains no sugar.

How is that even allowed? That’s like saying “Cigarettes have never killed anyone. *Never killed means shot on the face with a bullet killed. Cigarettes do not contain bullets.” Just plain ridiculous.